Okay...so here it is...my latest absolute shame.

Well, school has ended and a friend of mine was having her birthday/graduation party out in a popular, swanky part of town. Lots of upscale bars, restaurants, clothing stores. I didn't really feel like going, but bailing that late in the game would be a crime, so I sucked it up and decided to show. I had also promised her all week I was going to destroy myself via drinking, so I was obligated to drink heavily.

Seeing as I didn't know any of her friends, it was a tad socially awkward, so I did what any intelligent being would do. I pregamed. I was having dinner before with some other friends before I met up with her and her crew, so with dinner I had about 5 Vodka Tonics. That had me gliding fairly nicely.

So when I finally caught up with her and her group I was smooth, funny, gregarious, and happily warm. Well...we were drinking at a VERY nice bar in a VERY nice restaurant, and I had stuck with the Vodka Tonics and threw in a few shots of Jaegermeister for good measure. I felt great, hammered, laughing, telling jokes, making friends.

I guess when I dropped the bar glass I should of figured out what kind of trouble I was actually in, but hindsight's 20/20 right? So...at some point they announced we were switching bars, so I paid my bill and went to take a pee. When I came back they were all gone.

"Oops, I'd better go find them." I thought. That thought was instantly followed with another. "I'm going to puke."

Now, with beer it seems that I can feel the sickness coming. You can tell you've had too much and any more will put you over the edge. Liquour truly sneaks up on you. I was feeling fantastic one moment, and it was code red the next.

So I clapped my hand over my mouth and stumbled (literally stumbled! i was bouncing off the walls!) to the bathroom, which of course was VERY full. The gent standing in line for the urinal saw me pass and politely inquired, "Are you alright man?" which I retorted to by vomitting a little his shoes. "Holy shit!!!" was his response to my witty banter.

The stalls were of course full so I ran to the sink and proceeded to empty my mexican dinner and about 10 or so Vodka Tonics and 5 shots of Jaegermeister into it. I spent the next 10 minutes trying to clean the sink and floor. Needless to say, most patrons didn't wash their hands.

So...now I was ready to call it a night. I went out and sat at the bar for 10 minutes, trying desperately to signal the bartender without speaking (I was too sick to speak). He came up and I asked for my bill.

"You've already paid man."

I don't know why that didn't register. But I sat there for 10 more minutes or so. He repeated the statement a second time and I decided I should check my pockets. Oh, there was my credit card. I had paid! So finally, out into the cold dark night I staggered.

Once outside I decided a cab was my best option (only good decision of the night!) and really my only option because I had no car and I wouldn't have driven anyway. So, I stumbled over to the ATM, pulled out 20 bucks and then decided I needed some more cash. Well the ATM refused to cooperate. It took me about 10 or 15 minutes to figure out that it wasn't going to give me anymore money.

So I switched to Plan B. Plan B apparently consists of plopping down on the sidewalk and projectile vomitting into the street, because that's what I did. So...there I sit next to a puddle of my own sick. It's about 40 Degrees, I'm not wearing a jacket, my shirt and jeans are covered in vomit, I'm completely alone, it's 2 AM, I'm half an hour from home with no ride, and to cap it off I'm so drunk I can barely function. I can't really express the fear that hits you when you realize you're smashed and are completely reliant on yourself.

It's one thing to blindly stumble into a mate's car or split a taxi with a friend...it's another when you're all alone and have to figure out how to get a cab. So I stumbled around the area looking for any sign of a taxi, finally managing to drunkenly ask a bystander where the pickup was. Luckily it was just a few staggering steps away.

So I hopped in a cab with two other guys (I'm sure the idea of sharing a cab with a guy covered in his own hurl was lovely), quickly blacked out in the passenger seat and awoke next to my apartment. I shoved a twenty into the drivers hand and hopped out of the cab, immediately falling INTO the bushes in front of my apartment. I mean, ass flat, into my bushes. I stumbled up the stairs and finally made it home around 2:30 AM.

My roommate woke up this morning and said he was wondering if I had made it home, luckily he could hear me snoring from his room, there was a giant pile of stinky clothing in the middle of the living room, and I was passed out with my light on.

So...I'm officially ashamed of myself.

Random Pics of Revelry

[img:80b61bbd0d]http://i132.photobucket.com/albums/q12/jbenson81/bar6.jpg[/img:80b61bbd0d]

[img:80b61bbd0d]http://i132.photobucket.com/albums/q12/jbenson81/bar5.jpg[/img:80b61bbd0d]

[img:80b61bbd0d]http://i132.photobucket.com/albums/q12/jbenson81/bar4.jpg[/img:80b61bbd0d]

[img:80b61bbd0d]http://i132.photobucket.com/albums/q12/jbenson81/bar3.jpg[/img:80b61bbd0d]

[img:80b61bbd0d]http://i132.photobucket.com/albums/q12/jbenson81/bar2.jpg[/img:80b61bbd0d]

[img:80b61bbd0d]http://i132.photobucket.com/albums/q12/jbenson81/bar1.jpg[/img:80b61bbd0d]

LMAO! Fantastic!

That cracked me up real good! :lol:

Twelve easy steps mate. Twelve easy steps.

Ooof...it's even worse now that it's been a few days. How humiliating. Ah well.

Chalk it up to experience!