Hi guys… I have a problem.

I’ve been seeing this guy for about three weeks now, and the relationship is charging off on its own. It’s like an addiction. I have a need to see him. And its great.

HOWEVER… someone who I consider to be a good friend is gonna stab me in the back.

I’m gonna call her [color=red:de11e41244][b:de11e41244][i:de11e41244]X[/i:de11e41244][/b:de11e41244] [/color:de11e41244]and him[b:de11e41244] [color=violet:de11e41244][i:de11e41244]Y[/i:de11e41244][/color:de11e41244][/b:de11e41244]. Oh and I’ll have A and B. A is Y’s ex-girlfiend and B is my best mate.

X has known Y for about 16 years. Their mothers are the best of friends. Y split up with A about 5 months ago, but she is still around. Its my circle of friends.

Last night, I was in the pub with B, and she told me that X likes my man, and at that very moment X was on her way to see him to tell him that she likes him. But X had asked B not to say anything to me, because she told B in confidence.

I was a bit devastated at this point. This is someone I considered to be a good friend of mine. I can’t quite understand why she would do this to me. So I’m put in this situation where I can’t confront X or Y about it because then X would know that B told me!

Anyway, I heard from B that X DIDN’T say anything to Y last night. And from what he’s texted to me X was telling the truth.

[size=18:de11e41244][color=red:de11e41244][b:de11e41244]My problem is… what do I do? [/b:de11e41244][/color:de11e41244][/size:de11e41244]

[color=green:de11e41244][b:de11e41244][i:de11e41244]I’m fuming with X, I’m angry with Y for lying to me (he didn’t tell me he was with X) and I’m upset for B for being put in this situation. [size=18:de11e41244]I’m also really, really worried[/size:de11e41244].[/i:de11e41244][/b:de11e41244][/color:de11e41244]

I'd suggest taking a step back, letting things fall into place a little bit, and confront your new boyfriend with the situation in private. If he gives a damn about you at all, he'll be upfront and make his decision. Nothing's worse than getting in between two people who still have feelings for each other, so don't let either of them abuse you.

If, however, you can't take this option for unpostable reasons, then disregard my post.

ah but this is it. X and Y have never been together. its only since i've been seeing Y that she's 'realised' she has feelings for him... i personally think she is jealous..

If I were you I would confront X ... and let B get over the fact that you told her. If B's your best mate then he'll understand why you had to. I wouldn't be as upset with Y because he may just be in a real uncomfortable position and not know how to deal with it himself. Aaaaaaand ... he may be in the same position that B was in and not want to break the trust with his friendship to X. Ooooooooooor ... you could just join a nunnery and not have to deal with any of this, which is some advice that I really think I should take for myself :)

Kid, you know my feelings about this:

Confront Y about it, if he gives a damn about you he'll understand.

Confront X and tell her if what you think of her.

*sigh* I'm really confused about the dynamics of this (without a more detailed explanation) but I think I've got the gist of it.

My advice: Same as Porters. And good luck. If he really cares for you, he'll not only be understanding but he'll help you straighten it out. Maybe. After all, he's a guy and they don't like attending cat fights.. ;)

And remember this: We're your on-line family; keep us updated. If you wind up getting hurt, tell us and we'll hunt them down like dogs! If you don't, well, we'll just have to have some giggly girl talk and dish some dirt about it, minus the males, of course. :twisted:

HUGS, little sis!!

Hi Guys...

Well... what a week! Where to begin?

[b:9ebfb0f854][u:9ebfb0f854]Tuesday 21st February[/u:9ebfb0f854][/b:9ebfb0f854]

Everyone had arranged to go out for a meal on Tuesday and I spoke to X that evening because she was going to pick me up.

Now this is where I do something stupid... I wrote a message to B on my phone saying that X was going to pick me up and that I was still fuming with her. However, me being me sent it to X because I was thinking about X instead of sending it to B!! HOW STUPID?! So she found out I knew. Then it all kicked off.

X came to pick me up and we went to a pub to talk about it. Turns out she had met him for a drink on Monday night but she didn't tell him face to face; she sent him a message from her phone saying that she liked him afterwards. He hadn’t replied at this point.

X was furious with B because B had told me. B joined us in the pub about an hour after me and X got there. About the same time I asked Y to call me to explain. He did and we were on the phone for about an hour. Y and B were not talking (bare this in mind: we’ve all been friends for about 11 years now) when I came off the phone to him.

X got up and left, but she STILL must have thought he liked her from what she was saying. She said things like “He’s come to the pub because of me, because I asked him too” (even though it’s a regular event, every Saturday. We all go FFS!). Y came down to the pub and when he’s there he sends her a message back saying that he was going to give it a go with me. Great! Yeah?

So anyway, she’s gone. B is a bit gutted but also pissed off about it all. I’m really hurt. He should have just told me that he was going to meet her. Instead he lied to me, which pissed me off. But it was all good.

So, methinks it’s all going fine. X and B are not friends anymore; me and Y see each other everyday for the rest of the week up to Saturday and have a [b:9ebfb0f854]really[/b:9ebfb0f854] great time.

Then Saturday comes.

[b:9ebfb0f854][u:9ebfb0f854]Saturday 25th February[/u:9ebfb0f854][/b:9ebfb0f854]

Our mate (er…) D is starting out DJ-ing and he plays the warm up set in the pub we go to on a Saturday night. And he is REALLY good. Now D isn’t really friends with X and he was disgusted with the position X had put B in. However, this pub we go to on a Saturday is X’s local and me, Y and B went down to support D. Usually, we’d sit with X and her family; this day we didn’t and sat the other end of the pub (remember the relationship X’s family and Y’s family have). Strained isn’t the word for it. It was really, really tense. X’s aunt came over to B to ask her what on earth was going on and B told her straight. It was a good night regardless, just very weird.

B and D went and we left a little later. He said goodbye to X, A and the rest of them and I waved to all of them and we left.

[b:9ebfb0f854][u:9ebfb0f854]Sunday 26th February[/u:9ebfb0f854][/b:9ebfb0f854]

Y had to work on Sunday otherwise we’d have spent the day together and I’d arranged to meet up with a mate that evening anyway. Half way through the day I get a message from him. X wants to meet up to have a chat (apparently). I flipped. Why couldn’t she just leave it alone?! It messed me up all day if I’m honest with you.
He told me that he was going to just to get his position across to her. Make sure she knew he wasn’t interested. He told me he wasn’t interested in her and that he wasn’t pleased with what she had done. But his view was that he couldn’t cut her out of his life purely because of the relationship their parents have. It would be just too awkward. I understand this. I think.
He rang me when she had left HIS HOUSE and told me what she had said. And it was nothing. Why did I get so stressed? He’s assured me that he’s not going to meet up with her again because there is no point. Anyway, we’re meeting tonight and having a night in. I think it’ll be ok… I hope.

But through all of this I’ve lost someone I considered to be a good mate. I almost lost B as a friend and I also almost lost Y. I’ve done nothing wrong yet I’m the one that is most hurt.

B and X aren’t speaking. And I think it will take a LONG time for them to come back to each other.

I still have suspicions about things. I’ve never really been in this kind of situation so it’s all new and maybe I’m reacting too emotionally. I should just stay cool about it all really.

I’d like to hear your views on this. What do you think?

Wow that post is longer than some of my writing posts!!!

As for joining a nunnery - I've already got the forms...

And we can hunt her down like a dog...

I say dust the bitch.

She sounds like so many women I know, deterined to step on anyone that is between her and her goal.

I hope, however, that you and Y make a go of it. He sounds like a nice lad on the whole, not like the last dipshit you were fawning over.

*big hugs to my online bestest mate* :)

Fallouts, of any sort, are a bitch. And they hurt like hell. As my mother was fond of saying: it only takes one rotten apple in the barrel to make the whole thing go bad. All "I" can say is: You're young and it feels like shit right now but you'll live. That was the bad news. Here's the good news. You'll get over it... IN TIME. And, perhaps someday, you'll even laugh about it and wonder how is was so important back then. You know, nothing in life ever happens that you can't learn from it [b:ca6c5da81c]and[/b:ca6c5da81c], as has often been pointed out to me, God (or the Gods, in all the forms thereof) never gives you anything you can't handle. :shock:

Give Y a chance, dear. Don't let your mistrust of the others actions put a rift between the two of you. If the rift happens it will be between you and him, not you, him and ABCDX & ?? (I've lost count of the letters used!! :()!! And the next time a trusted friend (or not-so-trusted person) tells you that something is up... take it with a grain of salt, look into the [b:ca6c5da81c]facts[/b:ca6c5da81c] yourself and [b:ca6c5da81c]THEN[/b:ca6c5da81c] get mad (not upset). Otherwise, as you've just seen, you'll get more than aggitated. It's not worth the ulcer you could be creating. *sigh*

HUGS, baby sis, HUGS. :)

P.S. Don't take on any guilt trips that aren't of your own making. You're just buckin' for that ulcer again AND the entire mess isn't YOUR fault. :)

Well...

I saw him last night. And it was lovely. It was just [b:072ea7ae0e]nice[/b:072ea7ae0e]. Calm and relaxed.

It'll take me a long time before I'll speak to her again. I found out last night that the scandal has travelled through X's family which has gutted her. It's pretty sad that she couldn't tell her parents or even her sister and that she wanted to keep it quiet methinks.

I dunno. I just hope it's over and done with.

Still feel hurt about it all though.

Thanks for all your help/advice/words of wisdom...

I've (finally!) got next week off so I won't be online at all. But I probably will write some so that's something to look forward to isn't it?! lol

When you getting online then?

The move has been put back to end of March (i'd prefer the end of next week but never mind). So hopefully I can persuade my mate to get a phone line and then I can get broadband. Fingers crossed!

::prays hard for Bobbi:: :D

Daily HUGS!! You need all the hugs you can get. hehehe