{SoC} Survivors of Cascadia
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IS CYBER SEX CHEATING?
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Author:  Evil Eveshka [ Tue Nov 30, 2004 8:00 pm ]
Post subject:  IS CYBER SEX CHEATING?

Well? If you are in a relationship with a real life person whether it is boyfriend-girlfriend, or married, is it considered infidelity to engage in cybersex with an online personality?

Author:  kathy Belvadere [ Tue Nov 30, 2004 8:20 pm ]
Post subject: 

oh dear ....this one made me choke on my wine. A year or so ago I would have said no, it is not a physical act as such therefore it is not cheating on your partner. No matter what you say to the person you are cybering with you both know it is make believe and nothing will come off it relationship wise and even if it does it is more or less doomed to fail because you have started with unstable foundations. I may be wrong in some cases.

At one point in my life no matter who I was with I would cyber without a thought for my other half, what they didn't know didn't hurt them scenario.
I personally could not do it anymore simply because it would make me feel like I was cheating. I don't even like it if blokes try to chat me up when Im out with my friends so there is no way Id have "sex" with someone online!!!

Everyone to their own though, I suppose it could be used to add spice to a relationship, I had a friend whose partner used to help her as she cybered :P

Author:  Poe [ Tue Nov 30, 2004 8:40 pm ]
Post subject: 

I used to do it alot. Without even thinking about it. But now the very thought of it makes me ill.

It destroys relationships and creates unease.

Simply put, it's sick.

Enough said.

Author:  George [ Tue Nov 30, 2004 9:09 pm ]
Post subject: 

Yeah it probably is in almost all circumstances. And yes, it fucks up relationships.

It seems innocent enough at first, but in reality it really badly pisses your partner off.

Just say no kids.

Author:  kathy Belvadere [ Tue Nov 30, 2004 11:47 pm ]
Post subject: 

I wouldn't say it was sick...that is too harsh a word....some people seem to have no other choice than to go online for sexual gratification because of the situation they are in ie they feel isolated or simply because of the way they look.

Author:  Lady Cyrilynn [ Wed Dec 01, 2004 12:53 am ]
Post subject: 

In order for "cheating" to work, it has to be that. CHEATING. If you have an open relationship, such as Richard and I have (I'll explain this in depth in a PM for those who wish it), wherein ALL parties are comfortable with it, and can participate if they so choose, then it's NOT. That's providing you've thrashed it all out before hand and agreed to either quit or work it out should anyone become uncomfortable with it. Any time you have to hide what's going on, it IS cheating.

Cybersex (from what I've been seeing and have certainly NOT experienced) is an expression, or acting out, of our mind's fanatasies. We experience it vicariously through watching films, reading materials with sex included, write out our own scenarios, even discuss it.

Is this "cheating"? I don't think so. I consider it rather normal, actually, UNLESS it gets to the point where it's the be-all, end-all of your life. or where it's affecting your partnership. My take is that your significant other has nothing to worry about unless you start devoting all of your attention to this one thing and excluding them. In other words, if it becomes an obsession, then YES!, it's a form of "cheating" and you can truly believe in what the others have said in regards to it's power to create havoc in anyone's life!!

Author:  Gabriel [ Wed Dec 01, 2004 6:11 am ]
Post subject: 

Hmmmm...I agree it's not "sick", however it's definately not healthy in my humble opinion.

I think there are better ways to get out that frustration, but I can understand the desire for human interaction.

As for within a relationship, I am a firm believer that the male (or I guess female) has a biological need to release sexual urges. However, I feel if you can't satisfy yourself with the simple err...release but require something more (such as interaction with other humans) you DEFINATELY have something to talk about in your RL relationship. I would not necessarily consider it cheating...but definately a sign of a lagging relationship.

Author:  batty [ Wed Dec 01, 2004 10:37 pm ]
Post subject: 

My two cents worth:
I think cybersex is a bit like digital flirting. If you're unattached then sure, flirt/cyber all you like. But if you're in a relationship and you're flirting/cybering and it's not with your partner then I say it's [i:e74ab17dd7]almost[/i:e74ab17dd7] cheating. It becomes cheating if it's something you specifically [b:e74ab17dd7]don't[/b:e74ab17dd7] do in front of your partner with their full knowledge. You may not have their consent but if they can see you doing it - it's not cheating. (ie: flirting with the sales chick while shopping together). However, if it's something you do only after they've gone to bed at night and you'd hide the window or chat box if they walked in the room then you are most definitely a cheating lying bastard who is destined to be picking up his worldly goods from the front lawn and going home to mother ;)

Author:  Kahn [ Thu Dec 02, 2004 9:10 pm ]
Post subject: 

why would anybody over the age of 13 be interested in cybering?

Author:  Eveshka [ Fri Dec 03, 2004 5:43 am ]
Post subject: 

Cuz... it was something that pervaded SoC and pretty much every other online guild at one point or another. Most of us indulged in it to some degree. Some more than others. Some WAY more than others. ::: shrugs::: It seemed to be something that happened when a real life relationship had gone to shit and you needed something from someplace else. I dunno.

Author:  kathy Belvadere [ Fri Dec 03, 2004 5:42 pm ]
Post subject: 

In my experience it helped me escape the realtionship I was in even if for a short while. In hindsight what I should have being doing is getting me and the kids out of the situation we were in. We all live and learn x

Author:  Laura [ Sat Dec 04, 2004 2:54 am ]
Post subject: 

As batgirl, I also think it [b:6dc77eb4da]IS[/b:6dc77eb4da] cheating when you hide it from your partner.

Someone I know in my family used to do it a lot, I'm being honest it always scared and marked me each time I noticed it by mistake ( I always get in a room without knocking, thats err... one of my problems ). He admited it being a way to avoid a problem he was having with his girlfriend, which I think was unmistakably a bad way to solve it, a good chatter always solve everything, most of the times.

Author:  batty [ Sat Dec 04, 2004 5:04 am ]
Post subject: 

I think it's very sad that someone in a relationship would choose pixels over flesh.

Author:  The Dark Uncle [ Tue Dec 07, 2004 3:31 am ]
Post subject: 

Hrmmmmm I will admit I did it one time in game. I was playing a char by the name of BJ :oops: she was a dealer in the casino we had set up. Anyway the long and short of it for myself it was rather entertaining ( not that way get your minds out of the gutter ). I found it amusing my wife knew about it as she was right there when it happend it was kinda her idea too but I digress. In game it has no real place in a sense as if it is done 99.9 % of the time its just 2 peeps in there now if it were to futher the development of a char. IE the char is a hooker ( male or female ) and they are using that aspect of thier char to futher a story by "" pumping "" someone for info that would be OK. In my opinion, anouther form that seems ok to me would be the telling of a story on the MB that involves 2 char and sex to show thier bond and what not.

I dont know if you all understand what I am saying and maybe it does not qualify as "" cyber sex "" but its my view that it depends on the reason for it. If its to continue a story then OK, if its just to do it thats bad.

Author:  Poe [ Tue Dec 07, 2004 3:44 am ]
Post subject: 

I stand by my initial statement. It is sick as well as sickening.

The very memory of doing it makes me feel ill. But I digress.

Each to their own.

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