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| Does it make me a bad person? https://vampirerp.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=15&t=3807 |
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| Author: | Gabriel [ Sun Aug 20, 2006 4:52 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Does it make me a bad person? |
Strange how things happen sometimes.... So we all know I broke up with my girlfriend of 5.5 years recently. Blah blah blah..boo hoo hoo. So...recently that have this new pantry assistant, young girl, about 19. She came up earlier this week and introduced herself to me. We exchanged pleasantries and then she went on her merry way. But she's nice and says hello to me everyday. Well...the other day she brought her niece in and introduced her. Pleasantries pleasantries pleasantries. So...that bring us to today..she passed by and said hello. I said hello and commented that her niece (her niece is like 4 or 5) was very beautiful. She said oh thanks, and then kept walking. Well...like five minutes ago she walked back up here and said, "You're beautiful as well. Do you have a girlfriend?" Well of course, there's no chance here. She's 19. I'm 25. Not going to go there... But the REAL reason that I immediately lied and said Affie and I were still together was...she spoke very broken English. We constantly have to say "What?" and "Huh?" to one another. So...does that make me some kind of bigot? |
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| Author: | Drain [ Sun Aug 20, 2006 5:35 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
work and play don't mix well.. but play and play and more play at work can be fun. Misty and I are about that far apart in age. So the age thing doesn't bother me.. what accent does she have? |
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| Author: | Gabriel [ Sun Aug 20, 2006 5:51 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Yeah...the issue isn't that there's a six year age difference. It's the age she is specifically. I've always maintained that when you're a teenager you go through so many faces that you aren't usually compatible with those outside your age group. For example, when I was fourteen I was carefee and innocent yet a mere two years later at sixteen I was horny and a complete bastard. At eighteen all I cared about was partying and basically getting as wasted as possible. At twenty-one I was in love and drifting. Now, at twenty-five I'm ambitious and goal oriented. Call it personal development or what you will, but I just think that until you're older (ie over twenty-five) age matters more. Once you hit thirty or so I think most people have established what their long term goals and life outlook will be, so then it isn't so important whether you're thirty-one or thirty-six. Just my opinion. She has a Spanish accent. |
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| Author: | Porter [ Sun Aug 20, 2006 5:53 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Hmmmm I think we all know what my advice is.... :lol: |
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| Author: | Gabriel [ Sun Aug 20, 2006 6:21 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
...ummm....shag her rotten? |
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| Author: | Porter [ Sun Aug 20, 2006 6:29 pm ] |
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Hole in one! Mate, you're likely never gonna have a chance like this again as you're age lengthens. Feh, you'd be a fool not to but no matter. |
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| Author: | Isabella Garrett [ Sun Aug 20, 2006 7:27 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
I'd give it a go...oh that sounds bad...ummmmm lol I mean try and make the friendship work...sod the age gap!! sheesh what does it matter really? Its a proven fact that women mature quicker then men so she might but just about right. Another way to look at it is free spanish lessons ...think how that will look on your resume/CV :) I'm sure if you just tried to have your wicked way with her word with get around that your a bit of a shitty person so I personally think that is a bad road to go down ....unless of course she offers it on a plate :P |
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| Author: | Kemintiri [ Wed Aug 23, 2006 6:42 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
G: [quote:8852705c15]Yeah...the issue isn't that there's a six year age difference. It's the age she is specifically. [/quote:8852705c15] I think this is a very perceptive analysis; an age difference does not have to be fatal to a relationship, but there is something about that period between, say 18 and 23 or so where a person changes so much and so fast its like they are a completely different person by the time they leave it. When I was 25 I dated a 41 year old, and had no age-difference problems. When I was 26 I dated an 19 year old and had enough age-difference related problems it broke us up. Then at 27 I tried again with an 18 year old - we had a number of age-difference related problems but we made that relationship worked for 5 years. At 33 I dated a 58 year old, and our biggest age related problem was taste in music - he liked jazz, like Nina Simone, and I liked alt rock, like the Red Hots. His music was nice, but it bored me and my music made him wince. Things did not work out in the end, but the age difference was not the issue. Now I am 37 and dating a 49 year old and though the age difference is greater than with either the 18 or 19 year old of years past, it feels like very little difference at all. In short ("too late!") its that specific time period which amplifies age difference issues (not that they don't exist elsewhere, just more strongly there). As for the discriminatory thing...who knows...we do not really get to decide who attracts us; either a person does or does not. For me, the kiss of death is not an inability to speak English well, but smoking - I cannot date a smoker - I don't care how hot a guy is (or a girl), as soon as I see him (or her) light up, all interest fades. C'est la vie. |
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| Author: | battybaby [ Thu Aug 24, 2006 2:52 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
I don't think you're a bigot. If you were, you wouldn't have made eye contact with her, let alone conversation. This girl sounds like she could be a very pleasant diversion for you J. Keep on with the smiles and hellos. It may not go anywhere or it might go everywhere. I agree with not mixing work and play but that doesn't mean you can't be friends. I also agree that people tend to grow and change pretty quickly around that age but it doesn't necessarily happen that way for everyone. I was pretty grounded at 19 but I grew up fast. Of course there's only one way to find out... :) |
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| Author: | Lady Cyrilynn [ Thu Aug 24, 2006 5:20 am ] |
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Something made you wary, James, and I don't quite think it was the age difference. That was an excuse your inner sense could live with until whatever it was that set your back up, found the reason why. I agree that office romances (either lite or heavy) should not be something jumped into without seeing the rocks on the bottom! A lot of careers have been chucked down the hole for less but that's certainly one that's quite common. :shock: Besides the age differences, there IS the language barrier and, NO, you're not bigotted because of it. Cultures, and mores, differ from country to country (as I'm sure you're aware, having lived with Affie) and for all YOU know, she might just be husband hunting and isn't able to be subtle about it. On the other hand, she could just be looking for a friend who can help her navigate her way thru the American scene!! Regardless, it's too soon to tell without more time and acquaintenceship. Like Bats said, just continue to be casually friendly and see what develops. I think you'll both be the better for it and who's to say what the future will unfold :?: Good Luck, dude. |
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| Author: | Gabriel [ Thu Aug 24, 2006 5:22 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Thanks for the advice. Things are getting more and more ridiculous! It's like high school all over again! My friends in the pantry have been coming up to me and telling me that she's been asking about me, what I say about her, etc etc. In any case, I've decided that with my final semester approaching (next week!!!) I'm going to focus on working hard for now. Maybe after I get my degree I can find time to repair my love life...but for now, it's pure James time...which means a lot more time around here! |
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| Author: | Porter [ Thu Aug 24, 2006 4:28 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
[quote:9093d1617b]I cannot date a smoker - I don't care how hot a guy is (or a girl), as soon as I see him (or her) light up, all interest fades. C'est la vie.[/quote:9093d1617b] I hear ya, Khem! :? |
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| Author: | Porter [ Thu Aug 24, 2006 4:28 pm ] |
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[quote:b2eb768dd2]but for now, it's pure James time...which means a lot more time around here! [/quote:b2eb768dd2] 'bout friggin' time! |
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| Author: | Gabriel [ Thu Aug 24, 2006 4:33 pm ] |
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I don't know that I would date a smoker either. The smell...ugg...smoking itself doesn't necessarily turn me off, I don't get an instant repulsion, but the stink around their clothes, apartment, hair. Ug. |
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| Author: | Porter [ Thu Aug 24, 2006 4:36 pm ] |
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It's instant for me. If I were single and was on the prowl the instant a good looking girl lights up I'd be gone like a shot. It's the smell, the taste whilst kissing, the dirtiness it implies (fag ash everywhere), and the way it clings to your clothes and hair for hours after you walk into a room full of smokers. Bleeeuurrgghh! :shock: |
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