| {SoC} Survivors of Cascadia https://vampirerp.com/forum/ |
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| REGRETS.... https://vampirerp.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=15&t=3753 |
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| Author: | Lady Cyrilynn [ Tue Apr 25, 2006 11:54 pm ] |
| Post subject: | REGRETS.... |
Well, I have to admit that this is the first time in months (I believe since Frank moved) that I have been back to SoC. And it doesn't look like I will be back again except sporadically, my friends. I really hate saying it! :( I've often complained that my real life interfers with my fantasy life and this time it's not much of a joke. I dislike it intensely when Mother Nature takes a hand in meddling with my affairs and turns everything around. *sigh* What I'm trying to say is, that all that time I grumbled about how tired I was and all the colds I've caught and been so ill with and the sleep patterns that never regulated themselves was a dire warning of something a bit more serious. I knew that it wasn't a matter of if, but when, with all the problems my body has had, not to mention my age. So... when the dr. officially diagnosed me with having Diabetes, it was not a surprise to the both of us... Around the beginning of March, I experienced extreme thirst and no matter HOW much water I drank, it just wasn't enough. I was going to the bathroom almost every 1-2 hrs. I knew then, in the depths of my soul, what was happening and it took me about two weeks to get an appointment. I wish I could have put it off longer but no such luck, my time had come. *another sigh* So, the fight has begun. I take meds (pills, THANK GOD!-I hate needles!!) and I watch my diet closely. I count carbohydrates and read lots of labels. I am trying to exercise with arm chair movements and also try walking around my block. I'm lucky to make the corner and back but each time gets easier. :) I sleep better (except for those blasted headaches of mine!) and I actually feel better! Plus I'm learning a new way of preparing some DELICIOUS foods and how to cook for a diabetic. Then there's how it all interacts. Grocery shopping is still fun, just takes more time as I have to be very careful AND try to balance both worlds for the household. Not everyone wants to be on a diabetic diet. hehehehe My regret is that my head has been filled with dealing with my new life. I understand, from another diabetic friend of mine, that it's not unusual to have "blue days". Day in which you are fine one minute then gushing tears the next. So, between menu plans, cooking, nutrionist appointments, optometrist appointments, blood work and other concerns (not to mention dealing with a revised household), there is little left for my muse to be inspired with... at this time. I don't think I'll be writing for a while, sadly. It grieves me to say this but I just can't find the ambition to put my fingers to the keys and just do it. I've felt such anger and guilt over this that I've often brought myself to tears and find that I don't want to say it. Saying it makes it so freakin' final. And I hate the idea of unfinished business-namely, the 3 or 4 pieces I've been involved with. :oops: So, Stef, James, Frank, you all know Cyrilynn, Aria and Morrighan enough to use them to finish up, should you wish to do so. You have my blessings, I trust you guys to do well by them. Add to all of this, I've promised myself that I'll just take a hiatus and come back when I've finally balanced my needs with my inner desires. I want to keep coming back to visit with all of you, my second family, in a quest capacity, but I just can't take on any more writing projects, right now. I DO want to play in an SoC Chron, should one ever get started. :) It's a reward I will give myself for all of my hard work to stay healthy and alive and in touch with you all. I would hope everyone will forgive me my weakness and bear with me as I get through this day by day. Some of you have already been more than a help and you all know who you are. My deepest appreciation, to you. Caio & HUGS!! |
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| Author: | The Dark Uncle [ Wed Apr 26, 2006 12:31 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
I fully understand, while my real life issues are not as disrupting to my life. I do move around alot my family and I are getting ready to move to Guam here in about 6 months. We will be there for 3 years so I expect I will not be around much either. The main thing to remember is this. No matter how long a person is gone the group here always seems to understand and take things into account and welcome the person back. With that said I hope all goes well for you and best wishes hope to see you around here again soon. |
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| Author: | Porter [ Wed Apr 26, 2006 1:08 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
We've become a family of sorts, that's why we always welcome those who've wandered afar for whatever reason. Look after yourself Trish, we'll keep your seat free till you get back :) |
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| Author: | Gabriel [ Wed Apr 26, 2006 3:51 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Of course Trish. I'm so sorry to hear about your diagnosis, but it's better that you know than the alternative. I've known several people with diabetes and the only thing I can say is that it is manageable. Human beings have a fantastic ability to adapt, and this is no difference. You will get used to it and as you've stated already you're beginning to feel better already! So keep it up and just take care of yourself. The only thing I would ask from you is that you drop by and give us a few update posts. No IC neccessary (I mean, no one ELSE is posting IC these days!). But...once the action picks up, as it inevitably will, we'll take good good care of the girls (Lady C, etc.). No worries. |
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| Author: | Lady Cyrilynn [ Thu Apr 27, 2006 5:03 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
I think I knew, somehow, way down in the depths of myself that this was probably the one place I can come and tell things that I'd not tell anyone else nor would anyone else truly understand. But I had such a deep seated guilt over not being able to write that it kept weighing down my spirit and I'd turn away from the SoC temptation and find something else to keep me busy. With my new found clarity of thinking (NO!, it hasn't solved the Trishitis problem!! :twisted: ), I realized that the only way to fix it was to make myself sit down, get it out of my closet and stop hiding!! Diabetes is as much a state of mind as it is a physical awareness and to get healthy again, you have to give attention and effort to both to make it all work. SO... it was time to fess up. :) I chose one-on-one with my nutritionist becauseI felt that I'd glean more in a more intensive session than I would have with a group. I should have realized that the group support I would need, AND receive, was actually right here!! BLESS YOU ALL AND THANKS!! HUGS!! |
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